From the Desk of a Hurricane Survivor

I know what it is like to go through a Hurricane. Hurricane Ivan in 2004 hit the Pensacola, Florida area as a Category 3 storm, creeping along in it's destruction at 3 MPH. It was the scariest night of my life. A 17 ft storm surge hit our house in Gulf Breeze, Florida washing everything we owned away except what we took with us when we evacuated. After the initial shock, you get down to the business very quickly of living your life. Along with eating Red Cross meals, hunting for personal belongings in the piles of debris and cleaning up, I got to taking some photographs and the later, when I could think better, writing a few poems. With Hurricane Florence's depression still raining on the Carolina's as I write this, I am brought back to my own experience and thought I'd make this post.

Abrupt Changes

How could you have done to us what you did, salty, beautiful blue?

Why roar at your gazing lover?

Sue, who gardened by your breezes has gone.

No voices or crabbing adventures and grandchildren playing...

who knew that one day YOU would grow ENRAGED

and take it all away.

How can I love you, trust you, though you woo me daily with your calm lapping, making up to me.

Breathing your scent I can't help myself.

Lover again.

Sue's Home, Sydney's Chair

The Unnamed Storm

Perhaps to name you

was to know you.

Your gradual approach

allowed the denial.

…as if preparations were

unnecessary or not to be rushed…

maybe your landfall would be soft

in the middle of the night as

I slept, unknowing.

Oh but that doesn’t ever happen with

a hurricane.

The steering currents warm

with energy

made certain

that

your arrival would be noticed.

You brought a power greater than mine.

I stood helpless on the shore

to

hold you back

or keep it as before.

My belongings scattered…should I search or

are they ruined by your caustic pounding and should I

just let them go?

The Morning After

But As For Me...

I am currently reading a book entitled, Love Like You Have Never Been Hurt by Jentezen Franklin. The book was sent to me by a dear friend who knows that I have been struggling, and I am so glad she did. I highly recommend it to anyone who has been hurt, disappointed or discouraged. I am currently at a portion of the book that references Job and the book in the Bible named for him. Something caught my attention regarding this and I thought I'd write about it here.

The book of Job is the story of a wealthy man who literally has everything taken from him, including his health. Although the extreme suffering of Job can seem foreign to those who have not literally lost everything, I still over the years have drawn inspiration from this book a few ways - the first in the seemingly good advice of his friends, which turns out to not be good in God's eyes - (read Job 42:7-9 - in my opinion allowing freedom from persistent persuasion that seems well meaning but not ringing true within), another is the beautiful portion in Chapter 28 about where the source of wisdom is, and then lastly is the section of scripture in the Chapter 42, the last chapter - verses 6 - "I had heard of you by the hearing of the ear, but now my eye sees you; therefore I despise myself, and repent in dust and ashes." I have always loved this scripture as it spoke to me of the greatness of God in comparison to man and that moving from head knowledge of God to experience with God enabling a soul to see Him is when we actually know something.

But in Franklin's book on Page 193, his reference to Chapters 19 and 23 brought something to mind that I had not seen before that I would like to share here.

Job said in regards to God, in Chapter 23 - "I travel East looking for him - I find no one; then West, but not a trace; I go North, but he's hidden his tracks; then South, but not even a glimpse" (Message 8-9). I know I have felt that way. WHERE IS GOD? I am in my 60's and after you have asked yourself that quite a few times over your lifetime, it can wear you down. When I was a younger person I would see grouchy older people and tell myself I would never be like that. Now, with some age to me, I know that experience of being disillusioned by life can make you that way when you give up. God forbid I ever give up!

So, to the heart of this post - Job exclaims in Chapter 19, verse 25 - "But as for me, I know my Redeemer lives". What determination! What faith! Although Job can not find God, Job is saying that no matter the circumstances, he knows that His REDEEMER lives. When all Job saw or was experiencing was loss and pain, he still knew that his savior lived. Job was not in denial of his circumstances. He acknowledged his suffering. But in his suffering he stayed true to God in his heart.

I don't know how long Job stayed in that state of loss and pain, but I do know that God restored to Job more than he had before and blessed the latter days more than his beginning. So I hope this encourages anyone who, in their latter days are feeling discouraged. Hold on to faith and as for you, know that your redeemer lives!

Diane Britton Dunham - artist